"Bambinatum est magitum." . MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO and . Brand new stock, sir! Do you think I altered my intended elevation? A baby, Mrs Wormwood. RUDOLPHO Right. Are you crying? My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. Harry Wormwood: What do you want, Miss Chutney? Zinnia Wormwood: I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. Because you're pretty darn sweet. I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. I'm the best! . With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. So she's learned a few tricks. 4 0 obj You have to put it right . In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. Matilda: I don't know what you're talking about. And so you think you're able But I didn't . Ah-ah-aah-ah FBI Agent Bill: Harry Wormwood: What am I? You're the spitting image. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. Oh, no, it's a lovely book. What am I gonna do? The scene changes to the library. Loud, loud, loud, loud! NIGEL, TOMMY We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, MATILDA If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. 9:17 is correct. You want Matilda to go to college? MISS TRUNCHBULL You gotta get up! The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. . This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. Trivia Zinnia Wormwood: She opens a book. <> So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Mum, would you like to hear a story? Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. It's just a door. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Yes, yes. Is the first word . The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! What are you looking at? Matilda: 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Let me tell you something, son. Students: MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN Pathetic, little me. Harry Wormwood: My daddy says I'm a bore. . Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Smells chocolatey, eh? You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. MATILDA collects her books. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. have you read a whole book? . google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; Listen to this: "It was the best of times. Every new life Miss Honey doesn't want you. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Miss Honey: 10. Trunchbull: They were written that way: MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. It was the age of wisdom . Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. Do I allow pigs in my school? Harry Wormwood: If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. MR WORMWOOD What is the school motto, Miss Honey? Are you smoking a cigarette? Who wants stories? You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. //-->. What? It's time you learned the family business. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. MISS TRUNCHBULL As I was saying, Matilda. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Everybody loves a little something exotic. [talks to the woman librarian] The secret to my success is this. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah My name is Miss Honey. DOCTOR and CHILDREN Am I . He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." MRS PHELPS off to prison you both shall go!". It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! Narrator: Is your nickname glucose? google_color_border="EDC7C2"; . I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] Miracle! Her life was good and happy. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? You're off to school in a few days' time. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? DOCTOR Harry Wormwood: And Jenny's outside. BIG KID [BEN] Er, what books did you read? And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. Did I let myself go. Mr. Wormwood: You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Matilda: A DOCTOR enters. LOUD! Harry Wormwood: You wouldn't beat them in a race! MISS HONEY "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? But she is a squib. . At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . MRS PHELPS screams and exits. . so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. PARTY ENTERTAINER But I'm a barrelina And I will Teach you a thing or two. MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. No. And so you think you're A-ble I did! MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. MATILDA . There's nothing to fear. DOCTOR MRS WORMWOOD I can see Two, three, four! Ciao, Rudolpho. MATILDA Keep out of reach of children. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. So, Matilda. . Well? And . BIG KIDS MRS PHELPS You fool! This is Rudolpho! MISS HONEY Hand's shaking. It's your father who's going to federal prison. . MISS HONEY An idiot? Harry Wormwood: Useless, flamin' car! ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] . I've got a whole house to look after! MR WORMWOOD Jenny: He stands up on a block. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. Mrs. Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. But I didn't do anything. Are they good runners? Perhaps I'll wait. Knock on the door, Jenny. I'm fed up with all this reading! Oh, let's put it this way. They line up at the back of the stage. This uncorrupted mind. A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. That's exactly what you've done. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Specialness is de rigueur. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Every life I bring into this world That makes me so happy. Jenny : Quite the contrary. The Lord of the Rings . NIGEL MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. Oh my. I want you around here now with another car! Matilda's teacher? It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. Sing, children. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. MR WORMWOOD Somewhere along the way, my dear, . BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. Bambinatum! so I pick it up and - No! . [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] Come in, come in, whoever you are. [wielding a hammer throw] Agatha Trunchbull: [loses it, to Matilda] MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the She taught us with a poem. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] . And that's not right. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] And I will teach you a thing or two. . MRS WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Zinnia Wormwood: NIGEL Matilda Wormwood! MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Oh, of course. . It's just pathetic! Or just a coincidence? This one was mine. . There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . MATILDA BIG KIDS Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? That's not normal for a five-year-old. Yes, sir. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. The more you'll just look like a fool. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] and look at reading. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. MRS WORMWOOD Michael: I can't find his frank 'n' beans! COUPLES You're not a little girl. Agatha Trunchbull: But even you, Bruce, Good morning, children! MATILDA You and I must be Weedles. Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Harry Wormwood: We never thought it was possible, 4. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! Have a marshmallow. (Bruce!) Now, look at you, and look at me. The more that you try, But time is the one thing no one is master of. Crowd! You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. The subsequent fall was inevitable. Just get on your feet, Jenny. You gotta get up and be loud! MISS HONEY What?! . And therefore, she is guilty! . MATILDA I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR Mrs. Wormwood: Dip face! Go on, Brucey! In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. BIG KID [RYAN] They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. I can! Does that mean I can get that new TV? I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. How do you do this? It was the biggest burp I had ever done. [TV Version] [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! Lissy Doll, I called her. The alphabet? Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. [He throws the phone to the lackey.] See! One day when I'm older, Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! I don't know. "tomato"? But I . Or maybe your largeness [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. Good-bye, Miss Honey. RUDOLPHO Stand out from the crowd! Matilda: Ahh! No, it's fine. A beautiful, beautiful little girl. Agatha Trunchbull: She starts the video screens playing again. It's not mine! They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. MISS TRUNCHBULL Before my happy days were Over, . pregnant! Who is this, babe? [her car has broken down] No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. . The second one cost $512. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. A spotlight searches the theater. She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Yes. Tomorrow at one? I'm incredible! 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. Another flaming book? This miracle . . My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. WOMAN: And insightful. He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] Didn't we?! Look at him go! Harry Wormwood: [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. A fool? Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA I have suffered in this jail. A book? MISS TRUNCHBULL The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL ], CHILDREN Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Harry Wormwood: Every new life Marvellous. "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. MRS PHELPS She holds up the final "10". That's right, honey, look at mummy. . Have another marshmallow, Dip face. . You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. See you next week. Don't be disgusting! Yes! [She turns the screens back on.]. . ALL GIRLS The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. | But it's a truth empirical. There's, erm . Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. She misses me so much. Yes. . You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. A contract is a contract is a contract! MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. I told them, I said, "Hey. Matilda, that . [His stomach growls.] It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! We're not rich. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". [interrupting] Amanda Thripp: [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. You're going to hug all the air out of me. The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. What was my profit for the day? Ten times two is twenty. MISS TRUNCHBULL And good luck with the Tolstoy. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. MRS PHELPS Agatha, This is Magnus. I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! Yeah. [bends down] Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! BIG KIDS Agatha Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull: The Invisible Man . Rules? [into recorder] You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! It's the mileage. Like you, I was (Q) curious, Ah-ah-aah-ah. "It is our destiny ". MISS HONEY MATILDA This child is a girl. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. How far can you go? She seems not to know that she's special at all. Make him stop! She sat down, and when she got up . . I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. I shall pound you. Trunchbull: I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . BIG KID [BEN] I have all these extra. Her mind is incredible. And so, the great day arrived! 1. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. Mr. Wormwood: What a pleasure to see you. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . It's the female minor. Or even two, Bruce, her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! You've seen one before. I'll say! A bell rings. Miss Honey: Yourself, Matilda? MISS HONEY A little less brains, a lot more hair. She's got no respect, that one. MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. . She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. Think of the possibilities.". Agatha Trunchbull: 13. Shut up! . What kind of society would that be? With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. I'm the best! Piacelli. Matilda Wormwood is an exception . The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". CHILDREN 2. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. No, sir. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] Mr. Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull: Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage]
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